The Database Gods Have Entered the Chat
Every FileMaker developer knows that moment. You’re deep in a refactoring project, everything should work logically, and then… FRINGE behavior appears.
The Setup: A Simple Calculation Refresh
We had a straightforward auto-enter calculation that should refresh when related records update:
filemaker
Substitute (
List ( review::reviewer ) ;
"¶" ; ", "
)
The purpose? Show only reviewers who haven’t completed their review as a comma-separated list. Simple, rational, should work.
Enter the FRINGE
The Rational Approach:
[ "targetValue" ; 0 ; JSONNumber ]Result: ❌ DOESN’T WORK. Calculation doesn’t refresh.
The Irrational Approach:
[ "targetValue" ; "" ; JSONString ]Result: ✅ WORKS PERFECTLY. Calculation refreshes.
Wait… what? We’re setting an empty string in a Number field, and that’s what works?
Welcome to FRINGE Territory 🛸
This is where FileMaker development meets the Twilight Zone:
- The “wrong” approach works
- The “right” approach fails
- Documentation offers no explanation
- Stack Overflow has left the chat
- Even 20-year FileMaker veterans go “…huh?”
The Developer’s Dilemma
Option A: Accept the FRINGE
“Fine, empty string it is. I’ll document this madness and move on.”
Option B: Build Custom Logic
“Instead of fighting the mysterious gods of calculation refresh, we build our own logic. We know what we want…”
Plot Twist: The Database Gods Awakened
Just as we were about to implement our custom workaround logic…
SUDDENLY: The rational approach starts working!
[ "targetValue" ; 0 ; JSONNumber ]NOW WORKS ✅
No changes made. No cache cleared. No database restarted. The calculation refresh gods simply… decided to cooperate.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE 🤖
At this moment, you realize you’ve been ASSIMILATED into the FileMaker collective consciousness:
THE COLLECTIVE DECLARES:
Your biological and technological distinctiveness
has been added to our own.
Your framework will adapt to service us.You have successfully:
- ✅ Assimilated the FRINGE behavior
- ✅ Adapted to FileMaker’s mysterious ways
- ✅ Achieved rational calculation refresh
- ✅ Appeased the database gods through proper framework compliance
FROM CHAOS TO ORDER
The BORG Process:
- FRINGE behavior: Acknowledged ✅
- Workaround discovered: Documented ✅
- Rational solution restored: Implemented ✅
- Database gods: Properly appeased ✅
The Wisdom of the Collective
WE ARE BORG. YOUR CALCULATIONS WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
The truth every FileMaker developer learns:
- Sometimes you don’t need to understand WHY it suddenly works
- Document the correct approach
- Laugh at the beautiful chaos
- Move forward to the next refactoring challenge
Lessons from the FRINGE
- Expect the Unexpected: Logic is optional in FRINGE territory
- Document Everything: Future you will thank present you
- Keep Multiple Solutions: The workaround that shouldn’t work might save the day
- Appease the Database Gods: Proper framework compliance matters
- Embrace the BORG: Resistance to FileMaker’s mysterious ways is futile
The database gods have been appeased…
The refactoring continues… resistance to proper SQL abstraction functions is futile! 🛸⚡
Sometimes the best part of database development isn’t solving the problem—it’s laughing at the journey from FRINGE chaos to BORG assimilation, knowing that somewhere, another developer is having the exact same “…what just happened?” moment.
The database gods have been appeased. We are BORG. And the calculations? They work now.
